The Silly Guide to Gift-Giving: Part 2
From Movie Friends with Gifts (and Popcorn)
People mistakenly believe that the greatest question of all time has always been the one from Shakespeare’s masterpiece: “To be or not to be?” With the arrival of winter holidays, the pressing question becomes, "What gifts do I get for my friends and family for Christmas?" because 'tis the season for some holiday cheer and, of course, last-minute shopping panic.
But fear not, for I bring you a tiered guide to the most popular holiday presents from the magical world of film, sure to spark inspiration for your (um, extremely last-minute) shopping, and binge-watching, this holiday season.
(This is part 2 of the Silly Guide to Gift-Giving newsletter. Check out part one here.
S-Tier: Sleighin' It
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001)
Gift: Invisibility Cloak
It could be argued, of course, that this isn't a gift, as it was Dumbledore passing something back to Harry that originally was intended for him, but he opens it at Christmas, so it counts! It is practical, It is rare, It is the pinnacle of holiday awesomeness. (It is also fictional). Harry might not have put it to thrilling use, but the sheer allure of slipping into the shadows elevates it to the top tier. Who wouldn't want the power to disappear at will?
A-Tier: Elf on the Shelf Approved
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)
Gift: Turtle Dove Ornaments
I know what you're thinking. "What about the Talkboy?" Well, we assume the Talkboy was a gift but we don't see Kevin get it, so it's out.
“It’s a turtle dove. I have one. You have one. As long as we each have a turtle dove, we’ll be friends forever.”
How are you not crying? Let’s not forget, he is 12!!! Kevin's heartfelt gesture of gifting Turtle Dove Ornaments to the Pigeon Lady elevates this movie to A-Tier.
Sex and the City: The Movie (2008)
Gift: Louis Vuitton handbag (we’re talking about the Motard Firebird from Louis Vuitton’s Spring 2008 collection
Honestly, it's a pretty great gift—likely the priciest among the bunch. What I appreciate most, though, is having a boss who pays attention and surprises me with Christmas gifts. Admittedly, the bag itself is not my cup of tea, design-wise; it's not winning any beauty contests. While my taste may be more pizza than designer purses, the effort is what makes it Elf on the Shelf Approved.
Lady Bird (2017)
Gift: Embroidered Pillow
Yes, I am a hoe (ho ho) for anything handmade. There's just something about someone putting in the time and effort to create something special. Earning a spot in A-Tier, this handmade pillow turns an awkward family moment into a heartwarming scene. A reminder that the sentiment behind a gift often outweighs its material value. Plus, can we talk about the pun game here? Embroidery? A pillow? I love everything about this.
B-Tier: Yule Be Happy
Lady and the Tramp (1955)
Gift: Lady
Getting a dog as a gift? Count me in! Well, maybe after some serious planning—I mean, it's a big responsibility. But hey, it's still an awesome gift. Just imagine, without this, there would be no Lady and the Tramp. I’d do it for the plot.
Serendipity (2001)
Gift: The Black Cashmere Gloves
Stylish, warm, and a safe choice, these gloves make for an excellent holiday gift.
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)
Gift: A Comically Oversized Joint
This gift's merits are left to your imagination.
C-Tier: Better Than a Lump of Coal
A Christmas Story (1983)
Gift: Red Ryder BB gun
Receiving the Red Ryder BB gun as a kid was like a dream come true. Even though my current preferences might not align with the toy, it's still a far cry from ending up with a lump of coal.
Side note: The pink Bunny Costume almost won out, but I decided to go sentimental.
Jingle All the Way (1996)
Gift: Turbo Man
Now, I couldn't care less about Turbo Man (or any man, for that matter), what I really appreciate is the genre of dads going all out for their kids. Having neglected his family all year, dad Howard Langston (played by the former Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger) will stop at nothing to get it for him. The entire movie taps into the universally relatable experience of searching for that perfect gift for a loved one, especially in the pre-Amazon era with no next-day deliveries. While my own adventures might not mirror Howard's, we've all been on that quest.
Side note: I learned that the movie was inspired by the real-life frenzy for Cabbage Patch Kids and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers in the early '90s, where parents went to extreme lengths to secure these toys. It makes me wonder, Dad, where was my coveted Cabbage Patch Kid back in the day? (Source: Refinery 29)
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)
Gift: Membership to the "Jelly of the Month" club
In this classic holiday film, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) anticipates a big bonus but receives a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club instead, which actually sounds pretty good to me.
D-Tier: Ho Ho Horrible
Love Actually (2003)
Gift: Joni Mitchell CD
Unfortunately, the Joni Mitchell CD falls flat into the Ho Ho Horrible category. While the idea of singing along to "Answer me, My Love" in the shower sounds appealing, I couldn't help but wish for the necklace Alan gave to his secretary (you know, the one he's cheating on his wife with). Sure, a music cassette is a sweet gesture, but this particular scene in Love Actually has forever tainted my love for Joni Mitchell (and Snape).
Side note: It does make me wonder, though – if she's such a Mitchell superfan, wouldn't she already own Both Sides Now on CD?
Scrooged (1988)
Gift: Bath towels
Do I even need to explain why towels are a bad gift from your boss? Personally, I'd rather have Carrie as my boss gifting me an LV bag than settling for bath towels.
Die Hard (1988)
Gift: Teddy bear
John arrives at the party with a teddy bear as a Christmas present for the kids. TBH not the best gift ever because I don’t get the appeal of giant dust bunnies, but come on, he’s on a cop’s salary, and at least he remembered something!
Side note: His next film The Hunt for Red October (1990) ends with Jack Ryan getting on a plane with a Teddy bear with a red bow as a gift.
Another Side Note: Yes, it is a Christmas movie.
F-Tier: The Grinch Gave It
The Breakfast Club (1985)
Gift: A Carton of Cigarettes
This gift falls far from the mark for both Bender (a 16-year-old high-school student) and me (a 24-year-old, currently jobless silly goose)
Elf (2003)
Gift: Lingerie
Buddy the Elf's misguided gift of lingerie falls into The Grinch Gave It category – it’s awkward and kinda funny? Just goes to show, that not every surprise is a hit. (never ever surprise me) I mean, if a 30-year-old guy in an elf suit showed up claiming to be your long-lost son and handed you women's underwear, you'd be weirded out too, right?
Before you embark on your last-minute shopping spree, remember: the joy of the season is not measured in the gift's price tag. Crafted with love or chosen with care, the perfect present is the one that warms the heart. So, as you dive into the world of Christmas movies, find inspiration, spread joy, and express gratitude for the presence of your loved ones in your life.
Bonus: https://letterboxd.com/maahiswatching/list/best-christmas-presents-in-movies/
Happy holidays and happy gifting!
Maahi :)